Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
