There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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