Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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