hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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