Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm at about main and main street
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
