you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
