i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
