Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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