he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
