I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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