fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
