the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Someone came in the potted fern
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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