'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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