Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Bud_Light_5 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?

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(281): View more from Texas

Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

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(831): View more from California

Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

(323): View more from California

Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

(831): View more from California

Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

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(716): View more from New York

do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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(423): View more from Tennessee

This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?

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(585): View more from New York

I couldn't have possibly been that bad

(716): View more from New York

You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...

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