Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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