So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
