I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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