is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
