Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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