So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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