Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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