Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
