I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
