How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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