They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
