I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
