cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
