Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i love accidental penises.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
