wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
