so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
