You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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