Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
