Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
