I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
