home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
