At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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