How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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