You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
