Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
