Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
