Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
