I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
