just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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