I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize