I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am available for nakedness
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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