At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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