I wanna passion pit in your ass
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
