sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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