how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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