first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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