Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize