do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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