You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
