His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I need to calm my uterus...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize