I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
