just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
