Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
