Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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