So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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