I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
